A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I want a musical about memes.
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