From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
