can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
