its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
