A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize