I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize