Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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