forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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