the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
