worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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