3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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