I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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