Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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