So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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