no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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