ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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