is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My penis needs a shock collar
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
