So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
being pregnant is like rehab
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize