So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
