why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
