Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You took a bar mat shot.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
