i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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