So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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