I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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