just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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