he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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