Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
