ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
