so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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