The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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