Already got asked if we're dating
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
