just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize