you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
