did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
