Pants 0. Shit 1.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Houston, we have a blender
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
