Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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