i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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