Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
