suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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