we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
