can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
