Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
