woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
