just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
