It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
