I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize