My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
