He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
