I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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