Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
