youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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