do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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