she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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