I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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