So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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