Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We need a shit load of segways right now
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
