Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
