it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
