i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
