Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
