is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
