Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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