Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize