hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
