we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
