I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
