my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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