...so i touched it.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
