guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
